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However his inability to let go of his grudge against Archer caused problems in their relationship early on. They'll never take me alive. Now just try to retrace your steps. ARCHER? Like it'd kill you to roll 50 feet. [Ray Gillette is loudly crying in drunken depression over not being able to walk]. Cyril Figgis: Wow, sounds like a lot to cover. So... Cyril take Sterling's gun and pump a round into his prostitute. And then kill each other again. Sterling Archer: No Cyril! When he returns in Season 7's "Motherless Child," Barry shows a much softer side, asking (and later forcing) the crew to help him find his birth mother, since he was dropped off at an orphanage as a baby, believing that finding her might alleviate the emptiness and bitterness he feels. Ray Gillette: Lana Kane, you magnificent bastard. Oh sorry, I forgot you might have... Malory Archer: Oh for the love. View Quote Archer: [Staring at his back-lit, in-car minibar] It's like looking into the face of God. Malory Archer: Oh, now you're gonna be fine. Oh my God! Malory Archer: Most people fly. Barry's CPUs are powered by photovoltaics, meaning he is powered by solar energy. Lammers: Mr. Singh is a Excelsior's majority shareholder. Sterling Archer: [Awkward pause] You know when I was little, I used to pretend you weren't my mother. [the man punches her again] You better just f***ing kill me. So one Saturday when he had a game, I broke into his dorm room to see what kind of music he was into or turtles or roll around in his clothes or whatever. Sterling Archer: Lana... Lana... Lana... LLAANNAA! Lana Kane: And is this... is this Brett's blood? Which would mean that mother has been banging this guy once a week for the last 35 years and the whole time she's been holding a grudge! Because you're baby crazy!. What, is diabetes busy? Sterling Archer: No, I mean. Just get out, leave me alone! Sterling Archer: Burt Reynolds is my spiritual guide. This baby knows what I'm talking about. You cannot make yourself a verb! Rip Riley: But those numbskulls who picked us up were so drunk... Sterling Archer: Now that did see pirate-y. Clock your skinny ass out already and let's go get outside some dranks! The music stops]. Malory Archer: Because I don't want Sterling to end up with a woman like Lana Kane? At my table? Lana Kane: Because, between the cancer and the chemo and the just shit-tons of weed... Sterling Archer: Ooh, actually, yeah, good idea. And I don't want ISIS or you. Literally! Cuz this is how we get ants. Sterling Archer: Are we not saying "Phrasing" anymore? [calmly] Seriously, do you not sense that? Malory Archer: What are you- Sterling, no! You already knew the code? Sterling Archer: I-I was gonna say, "zip code," guys. Malory Archer: Jesus. Do not wind her up, that is a big gun and she is baby crazy. Why are you here in the first place? Sterling Archer: Oh Pam, if you want some food that is *supposed* to be cream filled I offer these delicious donuts. Idiots! No snooping. Sterling Archer: That's a very short list, isn't it? Sterling Archer: I'm sure you did, mother, but, apparently, Woodhouse is about to be murdered, so... Malory Archer: [said to Seamus] So are you if you piddle in here. Agent Lana Kane: We've got about two minutes before some ODIN dick sees this and seals the exits. Web. Archer Sterling Archer is the world's most daunting spy. Jesus, Lana, they're called little people now. »: Cette phrase revient énormément lorsque Lana tente d'avertir Archer d'un danger quelconque et que celui-ci parle en même temps qu'elle. Sterling Archer: I am drunk or I wouldn't be talking to you. Created by Adam Reed. Rate it: (0.00 / 0 votes) 967 Views. You're so hot for him I could reheat this chili in your cooch. Malory Archer: No. Cheryl Tunt: Like the infamous luau incident? Sterling Archer: [driving a Mini] Because this is what was there Lana. Little kids get cancer. Lana Kane: [pinching cheek] Aw, baby Awcher, who's a jeawous baby? Archer: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Back then Hollywood was pretty weird about the whole race thing. Ray Gillette: No, shut up. Malory Archer: Look at me! Five grams of junk says I can shoot a pi?a colada off your wife's head. Sterling Archer: I... Oh, was that not rhetorical? Wait, hang on. Lana, do you have GERD? [pause, then Lana pushes the head wrap that she's been holding against Archer's wounds against him harder]. [Prisoner laughs at Archer], Sterling Archer: What - they're you're clothes, idiot! [keeps texting]. Malory: So lick that coat. Sterling Archer: Whatever farm animal of war, Lana! You really want to know why she killed a guy? So Barry, you ass. Sterling Archer: [hoarsely] Oh good. Sterling Archer: I don't know who do I look like? Sterling Archer: Bloody Mary, full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. KGB, the Stasi, Shining Path, this guy I know named Popeye. Pam Poovey: So then he's all like, you gotta go before my roommate gets home. [Anka walks forward, unzipping her jacket]. Sterling Archer: Practice Cyril. Sterling Archer: [Gestures to the thirty-storey drop to the ground] It's okay, I'll skip ahead to three, which is 'Now what, idiot? View Quote. Woodhouse: When I served in the King's African Rifles, the local Zambezi tribesman called human flesh "long pig." You're making tea. He's not coming back. Now we can do this easy, or we can do it hard. Sterling Archer: Get 'em up, Dudley Douchebags! Me. Malory Archer: Will you shut up? Lana Kane: Archer, shut up. Malory Archer: The classic Irish man's dilemma: Do I eat the potato or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later? I'm pretty sure we're married in some cultures.” ― Rachel Hawkins, Spell Bound. Barry Dylan makes his triumphant cyborg return to 'Archer' this week so he can try to finally murder Sterling and his fellow spies. Pam Poovey: Wasted. Give me Sterling Archer mother. Seasons FX (2009–16) Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 - Archer Vice Season 6 Season 7 FXX (2017–present) Season 8 - Archer Dreamland Pam Poovey: You know I grew up on a farm, right? Stupid naturally safe helium. Conmigo estan el Presidente de Brasil. Sterling Archer: And there's so much I still wanna do! Right, we just sort of float around. What happened? Sterling Archer: I'm gonna pain you dearly Woodhouse, when I peel all your skin off with a flencing knife, sew it into Woodhouse-pajamas, and then set those pajamas on fire! You know I'd never let anything happen to your bacon. But you have a certain... thickness about you that I find... appealing. Don't ruin it. Conway Stern: Yeah, she's kinda weird a bunch of ways. Lana Kane: Ahem. Sterling Archer: Yeah, he just came up to me and was like "pwoop". Malory Archer: Well I'm not. Amen. Archer broke it when he let the then-ODIN agent fall off a roof. Sterling Archer: Yeah. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Email Sound Files POPULAR! What are you going to do? Are we out of Bloody Marys? We met in a "Pray Away the Gay" Bible group. Sterling Archer: Whoa, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with y - [starts laughing uncontrollably]. In my heart of hearts, I knew he was one of good guys. He got shot again. Sterling Archer: This is my manservant, Jerkens. You just sit there like the African Queen. I couldn't hear you over the sound of your wrongness! So, can you say "Best Dancer Ever"? Cheryl R. Tunt is a main character in the Archer series. Cheryl Tunt: Mopeds are fun, but you don't want your buddies to see you riding one. What did you think I said? Lana Kane: Because, you jackass, to recap: you locked us in the stupid limo! Sterling Archer: Noah, I'm half drunk and slathered in every bodily fluid there is, so, yeah, this is about as pirate king-y as I'm going to get. What's it mean, anyway? Cyril Figgis: Why the hell do you need urinal cakes. Sterling Archer: You're just doing this to spite me. Pam Poovey: Well, I wouldn't say amazing. Burt Reynolds: And then you'll have some garbage to land on. Sterling Archer: Well, I should say it is, Calpernia! Sorry I was picturing Whore Island. There's an item. At 9:00 AM Friday all Isis employees are required to take a drug test. You want to blow us all to shit, Sherlock? [shoots at Moto] That was for Pearl Harbor! Cyril Figgis: Well, don't keep saying it. Besides making a mess all over my train? Sterling Archer: What? Quotes.net. Cheryl: The Isle of Man... Oh my God... Is that like Whore Island for women? All over my body [Ray slaps Woodhouse], Ray Gillette: So shut up and help me find the nutmeg and I'll make you some "Malcolm X" tea! Go ahead, crank up the heat. Cheryl Tunt: It was like I was invisible. Is it OK if I glue up? Pam Poovey: [simultaneously gasp, say] Oh, thank god! Lana Kane: Ha! You're... [she looks into the pram, a startled expression frozen on her face]. Lana Kane: In case you've forgotten, I have an unborn child to think about. Sterling Archer: Well, that's flattering. It's like, Meowschwitz in there. We had to fudge it a little on the stains. Malory Archer: [Slaps Sterling Archer] I said no to plenty. Sterling Archer: But speaking of your body and my body, and stiffness... Pam: Ummm, I maybe, kinda slightly, took it. Sterling Archer: There's my favorite section head! Well, thank God you've been arrested so many times. What the hell happened here? Well if you wanted to, I could watch while you masturbate, but I'm gonna tell you, my heart is not in it, my heart is with that poor tiger's family. Lana Kane: Screw the damn eco-system! Agent Lana Kane: [Holds a gun to Archer] Call him that again. Sterling Archer: I didn't invent the turtleneck, Lana, but I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment! And will somebody answer the damn phone for once in their life? Malory Archer: The secret is negative reinforcement. Pam Poovey: I seriously think you're scary! Sterling Archer: Just the crime of murder, not the crime of sodomy by rubber egg plant. Forget it. Sterling Archer: No, just half of one. Malory Archer: Not THAT, ass. Look, I'm really sorry Carol but I couldn't... Malory Archer: ISIS isn't your own personal travel agency. Malory Archer: How can you even think about happy hour at a time like this? [Archer holds up a used airsickness bag] Just throw it out the window? Cheryl Tunt: Oh my God, be more Chinese-y. Though he is still unstable, he gets along better with the crew and leaves them on a warm note, genuinely thanking them and calling them his friends. Dahh, I don't need... ahhh... Lana Kane: Yeah. Cheryl: Trust me, you can't control a person's heart. Wanna blow us all to shit, Sherlock?

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