Goodbye Asia, Hello America
With this move back to the US, I really feel the weight of my decision to leave Asia. While I am happy to return and eager for a different kind of adventure, I know that I am really going to miss this extraordinary region of the world.
I fell in love with Asia when I moved to Japan in 2002. I traveled extensively through that beautiful country and learned to love the green of the rice fields, the change of seasons, amazing food, kind-hearted people, a healthy life, the beautiful culture which seeped into my heart and soul…so much.
During my days in Japan, I discovered SE Asia through Thailand and the amazing Nepal and Tibet trip. Thailand is an especially easy place to travel and makes for a great introduction to the region. Nepal and Tibet were just teasers for ridiculously unique and inspiring journeys.
And then in 2008, you’ll remember I traveled for four months through Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam and Indonesia before heading to Europe. One only needs to browse through my Travel Blog to learn what an impression those experiences made on my life. I’ve recently enjoyed one last trip to Laos before my time in Vietnam ends. Laos may be my favorite.
It’s been a very difficult yet very comforting decision to leave Asia and return to the US. It took a lot of soul searching and I’ve written lots of pros and cons lists and used my own crazy system of practicality, motivation, logic and reason to come to the conclusion that my life will be better for spending some time in what I should call home. I have every desire to stay in the US for a bit, but I cannot imagine a life without travel, and one where I don’t ever come back to Asia. And I cannot promise that after a few weeks back in America that I don’t freak out and just hop on a plane to Argentina or something!
I leave Vietnam today, and while it is always difficult to close a chapter of your life, I have a sense that a very bright and wonderful future is waiting for me and I need to go and grab it with total enthusiasm. I’m ready.
On the Bright Side,
Shanna
About the photo: I chose the window seat for this journey for some reason. I think I needed to visually depart Vietnam and welcome San Diego, as well as emotionally adjust! ;p
Next Chapter
When I first moved to Vietnam, I anticipated staying for five years, as I felt I needed to give it as much of a go as I did my time in Japan. If I look back at my Japan experience after year two, I think, “Wow, I would have never come back with the appreciation for Japan after year two as I did after five.” Naturally, of course, but also because I hadn’t really fallen into my pace of life and routine which allowed me to flourish in year 3 – 5. BIG difference in my work and lifestyle in those last three years than the first two.
As the end of my contract in Vietnam was approaching, and Kurt and I were having some discussions regarding the owners plans for the group, I sat down with myself and re-evaluated my situation. Our discussions were sort of a wake-up call for me and I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing by renewing my contract.
Vietnam is a much more intense city than Shizuoka, Japan or San Diego, California. Everyday poses some challenge, whether in a taxi ride or with work or even establishing a social life in what turns out to be a small town, Hanoi. I considered the direction of my career, having made a conscious decision to return to sales and marketing after a six year break with teaching and traveling. I have really missed teaching over the last two years, despite rising to the challenges of a much more demanding job. There was something very special about walking into a classroom full of fifth graders and teaching them to connect via a language that was not their own. There was something so utterly delightful about playing Simon Says and singing “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” with kids who never got tired of the program and who participated with a ridiculous amount of enthusiasm. Dare I say that a classroom full of eleven year olds is much more my element than an office with a computer and a very long TO DO list.
At the same time, I am a creative person at my core, and working in sales and marketing allows me to tap into these qualities on a much higher level. And I’ve loved working with my sales teams to push their own boundaries of creativity, to help them to think “outside the box.” For these two years, I have very much been a teacher, but on a much more complex topic than getting my audience to understand the meaning of, “How old are you?” I’ve had any number of a-ha moments with my staff, and when a certain point or message hits home with them, I am also deeply satisfied.
I’ve had to take another look at my personal life, which was the biggest factor in my deciding to return to the States for now. At 40, I’m still an independent woman. And while my spirit of independence will always remain, I do have the desire for a partner and family. As I’ve said to some, “I really want to find my dude.” And I don’t think that is really possible for a Western woman living in Asia. Most definitely, the men who come to Asia are interested in Asian women or come to work with their families in tow. Many of the single men I’ve met are a good decade younger than me. And while a little rendezvous with a twenty-something can be a heck of a lot of fun once in awhile, I never can take the encounter seriously.
With my window of time to have a child closing, I need to put myself in a better and, shall we say, more productive environment. And so my decision to move back to the US is largely a personal one. I’m not at all ashamed to say that…I believe a healthy personal life makes for a more enriching professional one.
There are a lot of huge question marks in front of me. Kurt and I haven’t even decided the day I will return to San Diego, although it won’t be later than the 15th. Once I land, I’m mostly interested in enjoying the heck out of the holidays, however I plan to squeeze in a bit of business before too much holiday cheer. I know I will insist to squeeze my niece to death as I have missed her so much and wish I could reach through the computer screen when she’s on skype with my folks.
And once I return, I’ll do a lot of thinking. What do I really want out of my life. Where do I really want to live and what kind of life do I envision for myself??? Those are pretty hefty questions and I’m at a point in my life where I need to find the answers. A new chapter is about to begin…
Hanoi Traffic
I remember L.A. traffic very vividly. In your car, inching along the 10, not letting the guy who wants to cut in front of you into the space because he didn’t plan ahead….the people who stick their arms out the window to signal a sense of panic that they “really” need to get into the lane they are trying to merge in…merging onto the 405 and hoping like hell you can make the Santa Monica Street exit? Sound familiar?
All I have to say is this…at least there are lanes on the freeway and for the most part, people stay in them. In Hanoi….it’s utter chaos! L.A. drivers wouldn’t have a chance here! It would be road rage central! Look how close that motorbike on the right is to the taxi! If that were your BMW or Mercedes, would you not freak out?
I think it would be hilarious to begin a reality TV show of rush hour commuters swapping modes of transport and cities to see who survives the best and which people are truly the best drivers in the world. Hmmm…thoughts?
The Destruction of a Villa
Across the lane from my apartment, there used to be this gorgeous villa. A family lived there for awhile, but then they moved. And then in moved the construction crews. I woke up one day to men on the roof taking off the tiles and then endured weeks of jack-hammering as they destroyed the cement roof to make way for two more floors. The sign above the gate says “Office Space and Serviced Apartments Coming Soon!” I’m sad to see the unique architectural features of this villa disappear into boxed frames and rectangle windows.
Fact of the matter is, Hanoi is one big construction zone. Everywhere you look there are buildings being torn down, built up or even changed. It’s part of a very enthusiastic master plan to make Hanoi a major metropolis. One has to wonder how this will all pan out. One of the buildings that went up next to my friend Mette’s apartment building didn’t get authorization for the sixth floor they built, so they had to take it down a floor! Can you imagine?
My neighborhood is a mixture of old French villas, traditional Vietnamese houses and newer apartment buildings (like mine). With more and more foreigners moving to Vietnam and moving to my part of town, Tay Ho (West Lake), these type of construction projects are only going to continue. In fact, since I moved into this apartment (#2 since moving to Hanoi), I have had ongoing construction next to and near me everyday.
I’m fascinated by the way home and apartments are built in Vietnam. There is such a lack of order, no concern for safety, and construction sites are just an utter mess. I’ve taken photos before of construction in my neighborhood, and have also been in the habit of taking a photo of this villa every few days or so. Here’s a few to show the progress.
Only 3 items left!
On Tuesdays and Fridays I particularly enjoy coming home as these are the days my maid has visited and I love returning to a sparkling clean apartment. I also love to turn the television on to see what she’s been watching. The days when she’s had MTV on, I have to wonder if she’s been dancing around the house while mopping the floor, or if she just wanted some up-tempo background music.
When I turned on the TV this evening, I could see that she had been watching a local channel, probably some afternoon drama. But the program being shown this evening was Vietnam’s answer to the Home Shopping Channel. And I was captivated by these two silly men who (I’m assuming) were debating the value and quality of this chair. I immediately whipped out my new camera and snapped a few shots (see below).
To you and I, this would be just a lawn chair that we keep folded up in the garage and take out when we have a party in the backyard, a picnic in the park or head to the beach for the day. But for folks in a developing country like Vietnam, this is a piece of furniture which may or may not end up in the living room, kitchen or a top floor balcony.
The guy in red must be some television personality. After the chair demonstration was over, the show cut to him live in a studio, in a different pair of silk pajamas, but same towel, glasses and hat. A lady had joined him in the studio to describe and promote a television stand (which was a very retro black plastic with frosted glass shelves). Folks, I am easily entertained. ; – )
Itty bitty gecko
I’m a bit worried tonight about this tiny little gecko (no bigger than my pinky finger). I came home and found him on the wall. Camera was nearby and I took a photo. Had some dinner, watched some TV and then came back to my room to my desk to do my computer stuff.
I walked over to my bed to get my cell phone out of my purse, and there he was, lounging on my sheets! I have to say, I actually like geckos. The fact they can walk on walls and ceilings is a skill I highly admire. I even like the way they make their little chirping sound.
So while most chicks would scream and freak out that a gecko so tiny was getting comfortable on their bed, I was more concerned that if I let him stay there, I would smush him sometime during the night. So I tried to steer him down the side of the bed, which ended up with my left hand having a tiny gecko stuck to it. In an effort to get him to safer ground, I slowly turned around and started to put my hand on the floor. But being significantly smaller than me, and I’m sure a bit panicked, he jumped. And he landed on his little suction-cupped feet.
Two hours later he’s still on the floor and I’m pretty sure this little gecko is injured. He’s barely moved at all. I put a plant on the floor in case he wants to crawl into it and look for some bugs. I don’t know what to do! I sort of believe geckos to be lucky and I’m super worried that in my efforts to save him from imminent death in the middle of the night tonight and a squished gecko in my sheets, I’ve sent him to his doom a few hours earlier.
Have you ever accidentally killed a creature that you were trying to save? Ever wanted to get rid of a creature and couldn’t?
I’ll let you know if this little dude is still alive in the morning. I hope so. I’m so worried!
Please be quiet
It’s Sunday, I’m trying to work on my website, to relax, and to write. I was hopeful this morning because I woke up to a rainy day. Hopeful that that would mean a quiet Sunday. But the rain is on pause for now, and all the little construction elves have come out to make as much noise as possible and drive me absolutely batty. This is one of my favorite things about construction in Vietnam….A truck arrives, blocks the lane (it’s a tiny lane) and all the motorbikes trying to pass believe they need to honk their horns the entire time they are squeezing through whatever space is left for them to squeeze through. Then, the back of the truck is unlatched and the entire load of gravel is dumped in the driveway of this villa. This sound can best be described as rocks being scratched on a chalkboard…about a million all at once.
Then, the workers pull up these little wooden carts and shovel the rocks into the cart, making sure to give their shovels a good scrape against the pavement.
The jackhammers have started up again (they are destroying the roof of the villa) and I am considering two options 1. Blast my TV volume or 2. Put in the ear plugs.
I’ll say it in Japanese this time cuz I love the word, “URUSAI, URUSAI!!!”
p.s. As I am about to publish this entry, I am now at my desk, which I moved into the bedroom. Someone banged around on the floor above me for an hour. And now the neighbors are in their swimming pool and the kids are screaming and squealing. I seriously want silence. Quiet. Peace.
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